How are you honoring Father’s Day?

Today, I reflect on the men I’ve had in my life as this day is dedicated to fathers. It brings up strong emotions as how does one celebrate abusive fathers and men? 

I won’t go into details here about my childhood and my father.  However, I will say that I kept repeating the pattern with the same abusive behaviors, in all my intimate relationships. 

I can relate it to alcohol and drug addiction as the longer the abuse continues the worse it gets. Being in narcissistic relationships is, however, an addiction. 

I hear stories of good men and good relationships. I’ve met the most amazing men and dedicated fathers in my childbirth classes and birth work.

It brings me immense satisfaction when fathers are eager to learn how to assist their partners during pregnancy, labor & birth. I am a witness to seeing them in action with hands on care and affection for their partner during intense labor. I’ve seen men’s joy when holding their precious newborn. This touches my heart and is healing. 

I understand if today isn’t a day of celebration and the men in your life have caused unbearable pain and heartache. Emotional life long scars of impact. 

I’m happy for you if you grew up in a loving, gentle home with a devoted  father in quiet and safety. It’s a blessing to have a serene environment for children to live and grow while thriving in peace and harmony. This is how it should be. 

If you’re in an abusive relationship, whether it’s emotional, verbal or physical, it will only get worse, just like an addiction. You and your child(ren) deserve better. 

Are you pregnant? You and your unborn baby are important. Your life and well being are at stake. You matter, your unborn baby matters. What you feel, your unborn baby feels. What you experience, your lil one in utero does too. 

Please, reach out. Get the help and support you desire. Your baby and child(ren) will thank you. A confidential resource is The National Domestic Hotline.

With love & strength, Alda Mills, Dedicated to serving women & their families since 2012.